Piratalia
by neko-italia9
Summary: Nyotalia pirates! There's Captain Kirkland's crew, and Captain Carriedo's crew! No real plot yet OTL Fail summary fails, please read!  Rated T for swears and pairings.  USUK, Spamano, PruHun, etc.


Chapter 1: Two Crews

"ANTONIA WAKE THE FUCK UP!" Lovina called down the stairs to her captain's bunk.

"Wha? Is eyebrows attacking us again?" the second girl rolled over and rubbed her eyes. "Because if she's back here again, I swear I will blast her sorry ass into last week, that psychotic-"

Lovina cut her off. "Alice's crew isn't attacking."

"Then why wake me?" Antonia rolled back over.

"DO YOU WANT MARIA AND FLEUR RUNNING YOUR SHIP?" Lovina yelled.

"I'm up, I'm up!" said Antonia, jumping out of bed and putting on her coat. She pulled on her boots and, pulling her messy brown hair into a ponytail, started up the stairs. "Besame~" Antonia said to Lovina. The shorter girl rolled her eyes and complied.

"Daaawww~" chorused Maria and Fleur, who had crept up behind them while the two girls hadn't noticed. They now smirked maliciously at Lovina's rapidly reddening face.

"DAMMIT ANTONIA! Tell your creepy fucking stalker friends to leave me alone!"

"We can hear YOU just fine. And don't worry. It's no secret you and the captain are together. Everyone knows. You two are very lo-" at this point Lovina smacked Maria across the face.

Ben swooped down from the crow's nest, his shoulder-length blonde hair trailing behind him as he swung on the rope. He brushed his hair out of his eyes. "Hey captain! Lovina finally wake you up?" his smile faded as he looked at all their expressions. He closely examined Maria and Fleur's devious grins, Lovina's brick red face, and the captain's laughing smile. "Maria, Fleur, don't tease Lovina about her relationship with the captain." he chided. "Especially right now."

"What's that's supposed to mean?" said Lovina. "You know, because your little sister just joined Alice's crew-"

"SHE DID WHAT? That stupid bitch!" interrupted Lovina. Ben continued, undaunted.

"Anyway, g'mornin! Nikolas and Anya were fighting again; I had to rescue poor Anya before Nikolas raped her. Hera's still asleep."

"That's all?" Antonia said and raised her eyebrows. That was normal on her ship.

"No, one more thing. I spotted Alice's ship to the west. They haven't noticed us yet, so do we attack?" after much arguing, the eventual answer to this question was "Fuck yeah!"

Alice's morning hadn't been going too well to begin with. Her girlfriend, though she would never call her that, had decided to wake her up by shooting her pillow about four inches from her head. "WHAT THE FUCK AMELIA? WHAT POSSESED YOU TO THINK THAT WAS A GOOD IDEA?"

"Heehee! Don't worry, Amelia, I won't hit you, I'm a heroine!" the girl giggled.

"Yeah, whatever." Alice grumbled. She buttoned her shirt and put on her long red coat. Tying her hair back into pigtails, she glared at Amelia. Amelia's smile flickered, and then came back.

"Are you looking at me? I can't see through your eyebrows." she teased.

"SHUT UP YOU JERK!" Alice said, pissed.

"Oh yeah, we're running low on food. I'm hungry!" Amelia whined.

Alice poked her. "Stop being annoying. We'll dock soon." of course, it wasn't "soon" like Alice had promised, because it just doesn't work like that when you're having a bad day.

An hour later, they were in port, and she had sent her little sister Emma to shop for rations with Felicia and Daniel. Daniel was the most sensible of the three, and Alice hoped he would keep the others in line. Emma was annoying, so she just sent her to get rid of her, and Felicia was the newly acquired errand girl, so this was her job description for now.

Alice decided to take a bath to clear her head. She was beginning to get a migraine. She ran the hot water into a tub and started to undress. She left her clothes on a bench nearby. Of course this was a bad idea, but Alice had forgotten that she shared a ship with, say, Amelia. She let her hair down and stepped into the tub. She was completely happy and relaxed, for the moment, until she heard an annoying laugh. "AMELIAAAAA!" she called "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

"Teehee!"

"Get the fuck back here you bitch!" she yelled at the girl. She leapt out of the tub and groped out the door for her clothes. That weren't there. "Shit shit shit shit shit..." she cursed. She found a towel and wrapped it around herself. "AHAHAHAHA!" yelled Amelia "I SWEAR TO GOD I'M GOING TO BUTCHER YOU SLOWLY WITH A BUTTER KNIFE YOU BLOODY IDIOT!" Alice called to the annoying girl.

"YOU HAVE TO CATCH ME FIRST!"

"AMELIA!" she said, threateningly. "IF YOU DON'T GIVE ME BACK MY CLOTHES _RIGHT NOW_ I WILL GIVE YOU _NO _FOOD FOR A WEEK!" Amelia stopped so abruptly, Alice ran into her. Unfortunately, this caused her towel to fall off. Lots of cursing by the English girl and some making out followed this incident. Most of the crew ignored them, except Sakura. She was watching them through a strange machine*.

Eventually, Daniel, Emma, and Felicia returned with not only food, but another girl too. "Ve~! This is Lisa Beilschmidt! She wants to join our crew! She's pretty and strong and can use a gun!" said Felicia.

"Hey, you know my ex, Vienna*!" everyone turned and looked at Daniel. "You know, long, wavy black hair, with that one part that sticks up, like Amelia's here. She's sort of a stick up the ass."

"Ah, yes. She is an annoying cousin of mine…" Lisa said.

"Ha! I like this girl!" said Daniel, laughing. "What do you think, Captain?"

Alice thought. "Why do you want to join our crew?" she said, finally.

"My big sister, Maria, works on Captain Carriedo's ship. I want to kick her ass. I am a hard worker, and I'm a pretty good fighter, if I do say so myself." Lisa said simply. Daniel laughed again.

Alice and her crew drew to the side. "What do we think? Should we let her stay?"

"Ve~! I like her!" said Felicia.

"I think she's cool!" said Daniel.

"She seems nice." added Sakura.

"I- I like her…" Maddie said, but nobody paid any heed.

"Well then," said Alice, "I guess she can join." She turned back to Lisa, who had been waiting patiently. "Ok, you can join. Sakura and Felicia will show you the ropes. Now, I think it's time to eat." She said. Of course, that's when the cannons started to fire.


End file.
